Abuse

Dullness sat behind those eyes
Where once there was a shine of delight in life
Rage rose behind the pitch in that voice
Hands were no longer the tapered fingers of a guitar player
But balled up fists
Black colors where once there had been rainbows
I would have left long ago
Flight or fight had been beaten out of me
The certainty of a hunt
A rabbit going to ground
The slaps, and punches, and pushes
Welts, smacks, black-eyes, burns, swollen cheeks, ...
Just always short of breaks
Solid objects on soft flesh
Dummy, stupid, ugly, fat, useless, whore, idiot, liar, ...
Words
Hot breath with scalding sounds
I put myself between those fists and our children
Tears only private in the daytime
Unspoken knowledge when I’m alone
The facade of doorways
And my own ineptitude
Wide-eyed deer eyes that someone would find out
Until the night I shot him